Kami datang ni dengan hajat...

So I'm almost 24, in which afterwards I'll start to refer to my age as middle twenties, the age when my friends who are born in the same year begins to think about marriage. Yes, there are those few who dreamt about this things years ago but at middle twenties, marriage doesn't seem a far off subject, even for those are busied by life's daily demand.

Last summer for example witnessed the marriage of my elder brother and a few days after that was the engagement (majlis pertunangan) of my cousin. The months in between was filled with photos uploaded on facebook, be it engagement or wedding. As a normal facebook user (hep, jangan tipu. semua orang buat), I clicked through the photos and after a while I come to a few conclusions about dos and don'ts in bertunang.
Disclaimer upfront: I'm not even married nor am I an experienced mak andam, so if you disagree with any of this and think some practice are better the other way around, then be my guest. Or even, invite me as a guest. =D

Bertunang : DOs and DOs la jugak kalau nak.

1. Try not to go over the top with the dress, girls.
The reason is because you have to top it for your weddings. Kalau bertunang dah berkerawang-sawang, nanti kawin mesti la kena bersiling-kelambu jugak atas kepala, dak? I heard that those dresses are not cheap (mak: hampa ingat murah!) and I believe they aren't, so why put so much into it.
Of course ignore this point if you happen to be some datuk's daughter. Daughter, not granddaughter.

"But what's the problem if the dresses are similar?" some might ask.
Nanti orang tengok gambar, orang tanya, "Mana satu gambar kawin? Laaa, awat gambar bertunang lagi lawa ni?" You don't want that, right?


2. Absolutely do not attend the engagement, guys.
I may be a bit of old-fashioned here but I sincerely believe the guy should not be there. This is the case for majlis bertunang where he has met her before, not the merisik part. The difference between merisik and bertunang is the former is like checking out a car you want to buy while the later is where you have to go to the bank and beg apply for a loan. Anyways, I think if the guy is out of the way, the ceremony would be more  Malay in a sense. Lebih kurang macam Hang Tuah pergi meminang untuk Sultan Mahmud. haha.

However the logical reason is because as far as I can see any engagement that have the guy in it will somehow have a picture of the guy beside the girl. Other than the fact the side-by-side factor, the guy will in a way appear silly with I'm-trying-to-be-formal-oh-maybe-not-so-formal-look. It's a dilemma on what to wear, so why show up?

In retort to people who might answer, "Tu tunjuk dia bersungguh-sungguh la tu, datang waktu bertunang," the reply is, he already asked his parents to go for him. A guy can't be more serious than that.


3. Pilih bilik yang terang, cerah dan sebagainya.
After all the small details (seperti hantaran, tarikh kawin) are settled, the guy's mother will go and have a 'look' at her future daughter-in-law. This is also followed by some photos and a few more people behind the photographer. So if you want your picture to be prittttyyyyyyy and nice, choose a bright room with the lights turn on. If possible, find or empty the room, as it can easily be crowded with all the relatives and hantarans. Why the hantaran? Because the dulangs filled with beautiful decorations atop certainly add pizzaz to the girl's picture.


4. Wear make up, appropriately.
Key word, appropriately. As my grandmother put it, "Pakai la bedak sikit. Tempek sana-sini, bukan lah tak payah pakai langsung." In most cases however the reverse is the occurrence as they pile layers upon the poor girls face. The ceremony naturally causes people to be nervous and even in an air-conditioned room, cakes of make up will eventually melt which lead to undesired result.
Quoting a friend's tweet who quote Calvin Klein (I think), "The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural."



That's it I think. I'll update if something else struck my mind.